Certain Hope
by JediIpsum
Summary: The sequel to "Ashes to Ashes". Riley has survived, but the road to physical and psychological recovery is going to be tough. Will Riley, Ben, and Abigail be able to move on? Collab, Jedi Pirate Jaeh and LoremIpsum
1. Chapter 1

**Jaeh: Hi guys! For the record, this is just an intro chapter. We're going to make the next bit better, so… yeah. :)**

**Lori: It would be a good idea to read Ashes to Ashes before this if you haven't already. Prepare for angst galore… if you don't like it, don't read it. **

* * *

Hazy, bright lights shined in his eyes, and everything was a blur. Spots and pinpoints of light danced erratically in his view, and Riley blinked to get his eyes to focus. Slowly the haze formed into discernible pictures, and he saw Ben and Abigail, peering into his face.

"Where am I?" He croaked. His voice was raspy and dry. Abigail handed him a glass of water, and he sipped gratefully through a straw.

"The hospital, Riley. After what happened, we got you here to get treated." Ben explained. He tried to smile.

Riley nodded. He looked out the window, staring at the tree in the distance being blown by the wind…

"How long have I been out?" He continued.

"Two days." Ben said softly. "You've been through a lot. They decided that rest would be the best thing for you."

Riley nodded. "I wanted some rest, too," he said. He was vaguely aware at how numb and emotionless his own voice sounded in his ears.

There was a weird prickly feeling in his arms and legs, and Riley shifted uncomfortably in his bed. Riley listened to the clock tick, and Ben and Abigail sat down for a moment. There was an awkward silence in the room, and Riley shifted positions again. Nobody knew what to say, but Riley was content with that. He really didn't want to talk about what happened.

All he wanted to do was forget about it, to bury it deep in the back of his mind, and talking would not help him do that at all. The silence became unbearable, and Riley coughed. Abigail looked up at him in concern, but he just shook his head and shrugged.

The unpleasant prickly feeling slowly disappeared, and Riley winced as he started feeling his wounds. "Riley, are you okay?" Abigail asked softly, and placed a hand on Riley's arm.

"I'd rather you don't touch me there right now." Riley said blankly. Abigail pulled back, startled, partly because of his tone. Riley lowered his eyes guiltily and bit his lip. "It hurts," he whispered, more to himself than Ben and Abigail. He kept his voice low so that Abigail wouldn't hear. Ben stood up, and placed a hand on the edge of Riley's bed.

"Riley… do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Can I have a glass of water again, please?" Riley said, ignoring Ben's question. He tried reaching for the glass, and Ben handed it over to him.

"Maybe it would help if you talked about it a little." Ben insisted.

Riley sighed, and leaned his head back. "I don't really want to talk about it" he said quietly.

He whimpered a little when he hit the bed. Then hissed in pain, and Abigail glanced at him in concern. "It's nothing. Please stop looking at me like that." Riley murmured. He turned to his side, and experimentally flexed his arm. He grimaced at the sparks of pain that ran along his skin. It felt as if he could feel every wound, and it was uncomfortable, to say the least.

He shifted again, and this time, pain shot through his legs. Riley knotted his forehead in confusion. He didn't realize that his leg wounds were so extensive. He didn't think he tripped that much, and even if the gravel was uncomfortable, he didn't roll around in the sharp stones. _Did I?_ Riley thought to himself. He vaguely remembered being drugged and dragged to some place and sat on a chair. He had a dim recollection of the feeling of his shirt being snipped off and something sliding along his arm, being buttoned down his chest…

Riley shivered, and turned on his other side and shut his eyes. He curled slightly into his stomach, and winced again. He felt someone's hand on his shoulder, and he jerked away, hissing. "I said, don't. Touch. Me."

He didn't like the feeling of being touched. Not right now, no. It wasn't that it hurt him. It didn't –Ben's and Abigail's hands were gentle, like they were afraid to break something fragile. No, it wasn't that.

It reminded him of something. Every time someone touched Riley on the shoulder, he expected a knife to follow through with a cut or a blow to the side of his head to make him pass out or the feeling of ropes and cuffs burning into his wrist.

He could just imagine a knife weaving through his skin and Devin cackling in the background…

Riley curled into himself further and shuddered harshly. He felt pain in places he didn't even imagine he'd feel pain, in places he didn't even _remember_ having any injuries… He opened his eyes, and pulled himself up. Ben and Abigail hovered over him, and Riley waved them away. He managed to lower the rails on his bed and pull himself to the edge. Riley swung his legs over, one by one, and grimaced as his gown rubbed against them. He attempted to push himself up, waving Ben and Abigail away again as they rushed to help him. Riley managed to stand up with difficulty, but the accumulated pain from all his wounds quickly rushed into his senses and he toppled back on the bed.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Riley announced, stretching a hand out reluctantly for help. Ben took him gingerly by the arm, making sure that he wasn't hitting anything that might hurt, and Riley gritted his teeth.

"Are the painkillers wearing off?" Ben asked worriedly. Abigail stood nearby, looking tense and uneasy. Worry was etched into her features, and it seemed like she didn't know what else to do.

Riley didn't answer Ben. Instead he pushed himself to his feet. There was a moment where he stumbled and leaned heavily on Ben. His feet hurt too, and Riley vaguely remembered running through a tunnel and pulling out glass shards from his feet. Ben kept a firm grip around him and slowly helped him limp to the bathroom. He wanted to see the extent of his injuries for himself. He knew that Ben would only try to stop him, to shield him from it, and he didn't want that.

He raised his feet over the step, and locked the door before Ben could even protest.

Inside, Riley supported himself with the metal rails, and pulled himself towards the toilet, and pulled the seat down. He sat, and pulled on his gown to survey his own injuries.

They weren't as bad as he thought. They were _worse_.

Crimson lines ranging from small red welts to deep, stitched cuts bandaged with white. Riley stared in disbelief, and poked at a wound gently. He resisted the urge to scream. Wounds and cuts crisscrossed his legs, his chest, his arms… He found wounds in placed that he couldn't even remember Devin touching him.

All it took was his imagination telling him that Devin was going to come back, pull him to the ground and run his knife a straight line from Riley's arm down to his ankle. His vision blurred and swam, and the ground slipped from his feet.

* * *

Ben frowned when he heard the dull thud from inside the bathroom. "Riley?" Ben called, knocking softly on the door. "Are you okay?" He glanced at Abigail who looked more than a little concerned. "Riley?" he asked in louder voice, becoming more worried. No answer. He resisted the urge to ram the door down. Instead, he knocked louder, with every bang making him more and more worried. Riley still wasn't answering.

"I'm getting a doctor," Abigail said, her face drawn. "He might be hurt." She practically jammed her thumb onto the call button. Ben continued to knock on the door to no avail. _Ah, screw this! _He took a few steps back and rammed the door with his shoulder. To his surprise the door cracked open. He didn't expect that to work**, **for the door appeared sturdy. _Doors here are flimsy… or cheap. _

"Riley…?" His friend's name caught in his throat. Riley was curled on the floor, his arms over his head in a protective gesture. Ben could distinctly hear Riley mumbling something, but he couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Riley!" Ben gasped and knelt down next to his friend, unsure of what to do. "What's wrong?" He received no answer, and Riley didn't move. His friend just continued to mutter quietly to himself, each word a little more frantic than the last. Ben strained to hear what Riley was saying, and his blood ran cold when he heard.

Riley was whispering almost as a mantra, "Why won't he stop please make him stop please…"

"Riley!" Ben said forcefully, taking him by the shoulders. "It's okay. You're safe now." He wanted to break into this horrifying reverie his friend was in. It seemed to work, to Ben's relief. A shudder went through Riley and his words trailed off into silence. Riley's haunted blue eyes flicked up to Ben's. "B-Ben… he…" Riley swallowed and his eyes flicked in panic around the small bathroom. "J-Just…can I go home? Please…. I want to go home…"

"You will," Ben said in a firm voice, but his heart was breaking. "But you have to stay here for a little longer, okay?"

Ben was expecting a protest, complaint, _anything_. But Riley just looked at the ground. "Okay," he whispered. Ben knotted his eyebrows worriedly. _This isn't _Riley_. Riley would complain, Riley would protest... _Ben sighed heavily.

He then took a deep breath. "Come on Riley. Let's get you back to the bed. The bathroom floor probably isn't that comfortable."

Riley sniffled but allowed Ben to help him from the cold floor. Ben looked up and saw Abigail standing there, blinking back tears. Dr. Spencer and a nurse stood behind her. The doctor went forward to help Riley, and the nurse looked disdainfully at the broken door. She muttered something about getting a janitor and left the room.

Ben's arms supported Riley upright, and Dr. Spencer guided Riley with a hand. "All right, Riley, I need you to walk a few steps to the bed."

"I can _walk _you know," Riley muttered sounding vaguely annoyed.

"Yes, but I hazard a guess that you can't walk without it being painful right now."

Riley shrugged slightly but the winces of pain betrayed him. He limped back toward the bed, and crawled under the blankets. Ben walked around to where Abigail stood. It was horrible seeing his best friend like this. He thought for the hundredth time what he would give to take away his pain… to have things go back to normal.

Dr. Spencer turned to his patient and sighed. "Riley… there's someone here who wants to speak to you. I'll leave you to talk." He eyed the visitor in disapproval, and left.

Riley's eyes flicked over to the door and he visibly winced. Sadusky stood there, trying his best to give the traumatized young man a friendly smile. "Hello, Riley," he greeted and walked into the room.

Abigail immediately shook her head, standing by defensively. She stretched her arm a little towards Riley protectively. "No way. Peter, you can't make him talk about… after all he's just been through…"

Sadusky sighed and sat down next to the bed, and faced Riley. "I know this is rough… but if you're ready to talk, sooner is better than later."

Riley almost looked like a cornered animal. He glanced between the three of them with scared expression on his face.

"Riley, you don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to," Ben assured his friend.

"I-If…." Riley gulped and looked at Ben and Abigail with his red-rimmed eyes. "If… If I tell him, you'll be here, right? You won't leave?"

Abigail grasped his pale hand. "Of course."

Riley took a deep breath and turned to Sadusky. "O-Okay… I think I can do this..."

Sadusky nodded at the young man. "All right, Riley. Whenever you're ready." Abigail gave his hand an encouraging squeeze and Ben placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Riley swallowed hard. "So… I came home… and I heard someone in the apartment. But before I could do anything Devin was there and he had a gun and he took me to his car…" Riley continued talking, and he seemed to be doing pretty well. Ben placed a hand on Riley's shoulder, who didn't attempt to shrug it off.

He continued talking, his eyes slowly glazing over as he recalled what happened. Riley fiddled with the sheets, twisting the blanket and grasping it tightly with his fingers. "Ian left us, and Devin told me that he was going to take me away to play and... h-he... grabbed me... and..." He stopped again, eyes staring blankly ahead. Suddenly broke down into sobs and shook his head. "N-No more… please…" he whispered. He curled into a ball as quiet sobs shook his frame.

Abigail glared accusatorily at Sadusky and sat next to Riley, putting a hand on his shaking back. Ben heard her speaking in hushed soothing tones to him, trying to comfort him.

"Don't make him talk anymore," Ben said quietly to Peter, staring at Riley. "You can't."

Sadusky sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "He said he was ready, but I should have known this was too soon…" Sadusky glanced toward the hospital bed again, lips pressed together in a thin line. "Especially considering…"

Ben glanced sharply at the FBI agent. "What?"

Sadusky beckoned Ben to follow him out into the hallway. Ben followed with a feeling of trepidation twisting in his stomach. Sadusky turned toward the treasure hunter and took a deep breath.

"Devin Osmand is one of the worst criminals the FBI has dealt with in the last ten years. He doesn't just kill his victims. He toys with them, he psychologically and physically tortures them until they see death as a better alternative. To this date, there is only one other known survivor. And now Riley, by some miracle, survived. I don't know who or what was watching over him, but we should thank them." Sadusky cleared his throat and pulled out a small manila envelope from his jacket. Ben could already feel something horrible was inside that envelope.

"Devin kept a meticulous record of all the sick "games" he played with his victims," Sadusky told Ben softly. "My agents were investigating the carnival and we found these. I'm telling you this because you're Riley's friend, but you don't have to look. In fact, I'd much rather you didn't. But I feel obligated to tell you."

Ben stared at the envelope then looked back at Sadusky. He felt himself begin to shake. He closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths, his hand curling into a fist. "What did he do," he choked out, in a voice that scared even himself. "What did the son of a bitch do to him."

"Ben…" He felt a hand placed on his shoulder. Ben's eyes snapped open and he took a few deep, calming breaths. "Pete… I need to see. I need to know what kind of hell the bastard put my best friend through."

Sadusky handed Ben the envelope. The FBI agent shook his head, frowning. "Ben, you don't want to open that." He warned, with one last vain attempt to stop Ben.

Ben ignored him. With shaking fingers, Ben fumbled to open it and pulled out a couple of Polaroid photographs. He felt nausea curl inside his stomach, and he had to swallow the bile back. The pictures were of Riley unconscious… the pictures gloated at the crimson gashes across his body. Ben wanted to throw up. He didn't even finish looking through all the pictures. His vision blurred, and he felt light-headed. Sadusky steered him to a seat and Ben sank down, the world spinning around him.

"Put your head between your knees." Sadusky's voice seemed to come at a distance far away. Ben obeyed automatically, drawing in deep breaths. After a long moment, Ben felt well enough to sit up. He couldn't say anything. There were no words for the pain and anger, it seemed beyond articulate speech for him.

"Y-You're keeping the media away from this, right?" Ben managed to ask. It was the first time he considered this potential problem. Sadusky nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. "Of course. Riley and you and Abigail need your privacy. And the last thing we need is a copycat running around."

Ben nodded and leaned his head against the wall. His best friend in the whole world had not only suffered horrific physical torture but emotional and psychological rape. There was nothing, _nothing _that could tell Ben that Riley would _ever_ be okay – he couldn't even lie to himself anymore. He knew a long road lay before Riley, him, and Abigail. The question was, would Riley even be able to travel it?

* * *

**Jaeh: Poor Riley. :(**

**Lori: Yeah... :( A plot should emerge in the next chapter. This was just the introduction... please review you guys. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Jaeh - Hm, so Riley's going home now, I think. Is he? **

**Lori - Thanks for the reviews :D Please stay tuned for more angst if that is what you so desire. For those of you wondering, the title is part of the funeral prayer (that starts ashes to ashes, dust to dust). The line is "in sure and certain hope of the resurrection". **

**((****To Golden-Heart: You **_**really **_**need to get an account on here -_- But in answer to your question no it doesn't offend us, being that me and Jaeh are both Christians too :P Although I'm, shall we say, having some struggles. But yeah thanks for your great reviews I don't mind that they are long reviews, long reviews are my favorite kind :P))**

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A few days later Riley was discharged from the hospital. He was given prescriptions for at least four different painkillers and felt drugged up to his eyeballs the majority of the time. Riley was excited to leave the hospital. He was tired of the sterile room, the smell of antiseptic, the scratchy sheets, but mostly the constant touching. Not only from the doctors but also his friends. He knew they were concerned about his physical and mental health, but did they really have to _touch _him?

But that wasn't the worst of it. He hated feeling so helpless and scared. He hated feeling every wound pressing dully into his skin…. He hated feeling like he wanted to scream. Especially seeing the wounds on his legs and thighs. He didn't remember Devin giving those to him… he wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Getting his clothes back on had been a painful and embarrassing task. He refused help from anyonehating the fact that he needed help getting _dressed_. _I'm not a baby. They don't need to do things for me. _That was when Abigail gave his missing Converse shoes back. He didn't know how she found them, but it almost felt like being reunited with old friends. Riley shivered, remembering Devin removing them, along with his socks. He couldn't wear one of them because of the cuts on his foot. That was another thing, all the reminders, and all the flashbacks. Riley couldn't feel a twinge of pain without thinking about how Devin hurt him there.

Riley pushed those dark thoughts away. _I'm leaving here, I'm going home. Maybe now things can go back to normal… _he sighed. _Who the hell do you think you're kidding Riley Poole? Nothing will ever be normal again._ Riley slumped in a chair, waiting for Ben to finish talking with a doctor. Well, technically he wasn't going _home. _Ben and Abigail insisted that he stay at their house for a while and Riley didn't put up much of an argument. The truth was, the thought of being alone petrified him. _Especially in my apartment, where Devin…_

"Riley?"

Riley jerked out of his thoughts and glared at Abigail. "What."

Abigail looked at him for a long moment. Riley sighed in annoyance. "Is looking at me in concern your favorite pastime now?" he snapped.

"I didn't say anything, Riley," She pointed out with a frown.

"Yeah well, you _looked _it and you _thought _it. Can't you stop asking questions for a minute?!"

Abigail looked hurt and Riley regretted snapping at her. They sat there in a minute of silence. He sighed again and his blue eyes flicked to her guiltily. "I'm… I'm sorry Abby," he apologized softly. "You're just trying to help…. And I'm being a jerk."

Abigail reached over and took his hand. "It's okay Riley… you're upset. I don't know how you're holding it together so well right now. I know I wouldn't be able to handle this half as well as you."

Riley stared at the ground and squeezed Abigail's hand. "Thanks," he whispered hoarsely.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. I mean…" Abigail smiled a little. "You've been tagging along with Ben on his treasure hunts longer than I have…" She grinned when the comment elicited a small smile from Riley.

"Yeah… but I'm not married to him. How do you deal with him twenty-four/seven?" Riley shook his head in bemusement.

"Just a lot of practice," Abigail answered with a smile.

A few more minutes went by and Riley and Abigail bantered about the hospital food. It was nice to talk about something mindless for once. Riley honestly didn't know what he would do without her. For all the times the fought and squabbled, he thought of her as a sister.

Dr. Spencer and Ben walked up to them. Ben took a seat next to Abigail, glancing briefly at Riley. "All right, Riley," Dr. Spencer said kindly. "I'm leaving you with your prescriptions. I suggest you keep off your feet for a while…. Too much activity will aggravate the wounds."

"Thanks doc," Riley said shortly.

"You have some great friends, Riley. Don't be afraid to ask them for help."

Riley's lips twitched and he stared at the wall. "Yeah," he answered quietly.

* * *

Riley insisted on driving. It wasn't his car but he wanted to drive. He wasn't even sure why he was so adamant about it. Maybe so he could prove he could still do something normal.

"The doctor just said not to exert yourself," Ben frowned. Riley rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, then winced as he brushed against his cuts. "Ben, I'm sitting in a chair and _slightly _pressing my foot down on the brake and accelerator."

"Not _you_, Riley. The way you drive," Ben pointed out. "I don't want my car having a four inch dent in the bumper." Ben tried to make his tone light but it was obvious he was more worried about Riley's well being than the car's.

"I'll be careful. I promise." Riley said imploringly.

"Let him drive, Ben." Abigail glanced at her boyfriend. "He's been in the hospital for a while. Who knows when he'll drive next?" Ben sighed but consented. This seemed to cheer Riley considerably and he scurried around to the driver door and got in. Riley tried not to flinch as he sank down in the seat and clicked his seatbelt. _Dammit, why does everything have to hurt so much? _

They drove through D.C., back toward Riley's apartment. Nobody said much in the car, and Riley just kept his eyes concentrated on the road. But it was nice to feel like he was doing something he was in control of.

* * *

Riley pulled up to the apartment and got out of the car, not without more pain. Every time he moved pain would shoot from different parts of his body where Devin inflicted some sort of damage on him. He couldn't even walk without limping, but he ignored the pain as best he could. He stared up at the building for a long moment.

"I-I'm just gonna get some things. I'll be back with a duffle bag or something," Riley muttered to his friends.

"We'll go in with you, Riley," Ben said quietly. Riley just shrugged and entered the building wordlessly. When he got up to his apartment door, he stood there for a moment before twisting the doorknob. It swung open easily. He didn't have a chance to lock it before…

Riley swallowed and glanced around. The shattered glass was still on the carpet. Riley realized he was breathing too quickly and had to make a conscious effort to control his breathing. _Devin was in here. Devin was in _here.

He could almost feel the man's presence… that anywhere in the apartment he went Devin would be there and drag him off to some dark corner to torture him.

"Riley, are you okay?" Ben asked from behind him. Riley jumped and glanced around at Ben, wishing he didn't feel so nerve-wracked. Riley was grateful that Ben hadn't tried to place a hand on his shoulder, otherwise he might have actually hit him.

"Y-Yeah…" Riley answered, while taking in a few deep breaths. "I'm… um, fine. I'm gonna… uh, I need to get my stuff."

"Okay," Ben said, concern etched into his features. "Do you want us to help?"

"No…. it's okay…. Just let me do this."

His laptop bag sat in the same position as he left it days ago – sitting on the coffee table rather carelessly. Riley grabbed the bag and hugged it protectively.

It was a source of comfort – it was familiar, it was unchanged. Unlike his apartment. Unlike him.

Riley grabbed a duffle bag from a nearby closet, and made his way to the bedroom. He stopped at the door.

His clothes were scattered on the floor. The drawers and closets were thrown open. Devin obviously went through his stuff.

Riley gulped down an involuntary cry, and stepped around the clothes. He sunk into his bed – which was untouched – and curled with a pillow. He closed his eyes.

He remembered fixing his things before he left, whistling to himself as he did so. Riley had tied his shoes, run a comb through his hair, and shut his door. He scanned the apartment – knowing Ben, he figured that he would be gone for days, and it wouldn't do the bills any good if Riley left anything turned on. When he finished, he grabbed his bag, squeezed in some books and his laptop. A lot of his things were already in Ben's house, so he didn't need to pack too much.

Riley locked the door behind him, and left.

Days after, when they finished, Ben asked him if he really wanted to go home. Ben insisted that he stay, even just for a day, to rest before he goes back to his apartment. Riley considered it, but he figured that he really should get back home. He even made an excuse, a story about an imaginary kitten he needed to feed. Ben just laughed, waved him off, and Riley left.

Little did any of them know what waited for him in the apartment.

Riley curled into the bed further. He didn't want to move. If only he stayed at Ben's place that day, like he always did, and maybe… maybe…

"Riley?" Ben's voice rang through the apartment. Riley wiped tears from his eyes. He forgot his pain for a moment, and he jump up and gathered some clothes, dumped them into a bag, and went back into the living room.

"I don't want to be here." Riley said, slinging the bag over his shoulder. His eyes were downcast, so that Ben and Abigail wouldn't see his tears. He turned away and limped out into the hallway and straight for the car, without looking back.

The ride to the mansion was quiet. Riley leaned against Abigail, his eyes closed. "I want to go home." He whispered. "But I can't. It doesn't feel like home anymore."

Abigail smoothed his hair back, and she sighed. "Riley…" She started, breaking off like she didn't know what to say.

Riley didn't expect for her to say anything, anyway. "He went through my stuff. I don't know why, but he did. He ransacked my room." He sighed, and turned away from Abigail. He looked out the window. "I just wanted to go home."

There was a long silence in the car, and Abigail looked at him sadly. Then she spoke with some hesitation.

"Well, you still are… sort of going home… you're staying with us." Riley glanced at her and silently turned to look out the window. He hadn't thought of it like that, but it was true. And it made him feel a little better.

As they drove the road, the turns, the landmarks were familiar. He had gone through this road many times.

It felt familiar, secure, and safe.

He had never been so happy, so relieved, that he was staying at Ben and Abigail's place.

* * *

"Ben?" Abigail said, placing a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Aren't you going to come in?" She asked.

Ben blinked at her. Abigail knotted her forehead, and gestured at the front door. He was the one driving the car, and he hadn't even realized that he already stopped. He had drove to Riley's place and back so many times that he had the road memorized, everything he did was almost by reflex.

"I'm coming. Don't worry about me." He answered, his hands still on the steering wheel. Abigail's expression was mixed with worry and uncertainty, so Ben smiled at her reassuringly, and gave her hand a pat. "Riley's waiting inside. Just don't lock the door, and I'll be right there." Abigail nodded, and walked through the front door of the estate.

Ben sighed, and with a shaky hand, he pulled out the small, brown envelope from the glove compartment. Inside were pictures of Riley, broken and unconscious, crimson lines displayed prominently, like sick and twisted art work for an exhibit. Ben stared at the envelope, his hands unconsciously pulling at the flap and tugging some photographs out. He pushed the pictures in once he realized what he was doing, and tossed the envelope on the dashboard.

He stared at the envelope. It was like someone took pictures of Ben's worst nightmare. The people he loved and protected, beaten, broken and tortured… _hurt._

Ben shuddered. He grabbed the envelope, and got out of the car. He couldn't bear another moment of looking at those pictures. Even just knowing that they were in his possession sickened him.

* * *

That night Ben couldn't sleep. He was relieved Abigail was able to nod off. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered if Riley had managed to let the relief of sleep take him. _That's stupid, Ben. After what he's been through he's probably scared to death. _Ben felt bad at the thought of his friend by himself in his room, but Riley insisted he was fine with it. Ben let it go, although he made it very clear if Riley needed anything he could always wake him up.

Ben turned over to his side and his eyes fell on the envelope on the nightstand. He was haunted by what he saw inside. It was worse then anything he could imagine. It made him so full of rage he couldn't lay still. He had to do something with them; he didn't care if they were FBI property.

He silently slipped out of bed and grabbed the envelope and walked down the flight of stairs to the ground floor. He headed straight for the fireplace. It took a few minutes, but he was able to get a fire going inside of it. The fire flickered and danced in front of him. He could feel the comfortable heat radiating through the whole room.

He grabbed the envelope from his pocket, and tossed it in the fire. He watched the paper burn and curl, the envelope turning into ashes first, revealing the blackened pictures curling away into the red heat.

Ben stared as it burned. It felt good, like he was burning the memories of Riley's torture little by little until it was all gone.

That was what he wanted to do for Riley. He just wanted to make it all go away. _No human being deserves to go through any of this._ Ben stood up, and headed for the kitchen.

He had more stuff to burn.

He grabbed the bag which Sadusky handed to him earlier. It was full of Riley's things, his clothes from the whole ordeal. His stomach curled thinking of the suit he found Riley in, as if Devin had played dress-up with a doll. He tossed Riley's shirt in first, and the rest followed.

Ben had never felt this much satisfaction from burning things in a fire. He watched the fire devour the clothes, and Ben poked at it, wanting the clothes to burn faster. It wasn't just mere clothes he was burning anymore.

He was burning memories. He was burning Devin all over again.

"Ben? What are you doing?"

Ben turned to look at Riley, a little surprised. The younger man looked paler than usual, even in the dim, orange light of the fire, and he sat on a sofa. Riley had his laptop with him, and he placed it on a table. "Nothing." Ben answered softly. He sat beside Riley. "What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep." Riley murmured, tapping a little on his laptop. He pushed it away, sighing. "I want to. I feel tired." He leaned back and closed his eyes. "I'm too scared to, Ben." He opened his eyes, staring at the fire. "Every time I close my eyes I keep seeing Devin, his knife, spiders…" He shuddered. "I want to forget all of this. I want to go to sleep, but I can't."

Ben frowned at Riley, concern flooding all his senses. He forgot all his anger, and tried to smile reassuringly. "Then you don't have to. Don't worry, Riley, I'll stay up with you."

They both sat in comfortable silence, staring at the fire. Riley pulled his laptop to himself and slowly typed away. Ben wondered what was inhibiting his typing but then winced and nearly kicked himself not realizing. Riley's fingers were also injured, some of them even having small bandages on the fingertips. Ben remembered painfully well where those injuries came from.

Riley didn't seem to want to talk about anything, which was strange for Riley, but Ben was fine with just sitting up with him and looking into the fire. He glanced at Riley and noticed his eyes brighter than normal and he blinked rapidly, as he stared at something on the glowing screen.

"What's wrong?" Ben asked worriedly. Riley just shook his head and sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "It's nothing, Ben. Don't worry about it."

"Riley, you know me better than that."

"Yeah… well, really. It's no big deal."

After a while, Riley seemed to be nodding off. Finally his eyes closed, his head leaned against Ben's shoulder. Ben looked carefully at the techie. His cheeks were wet with the tears from his eyes and Ben felt their wetness on his shoulder.

Ben made up his mind, and gently lowered Riley back on the couch so he could rest his head on a pillow. Ben glanced around and grabbed a blanket, tucking it around his unconscious friend. After making sure Riley wasn't going to wake up, he opened his laptop and looked at the screen. An email window was pulled up and Ben quickly read over what it said.

_Riley, hi! You didn't answer my last e-mail, so I figured you were just busy. It's been more than two weeks since you last sent me a message. I know I shouldn't worry, but usually you send me a small reply back even if you are busy._

_I was thinking about how long we have been talking online a lot. I just wanted to ask you when I could visit, you know, because I really want to see you again. :) I remember that you asked me out in one of your e-mails some time back, but I was busy. I'll be glad to take you up on the offer now, if it still stands._

_I'll wait for your reply! :)_

_-Jaqui_

Ben closed the laptop again and ran a hand over his face. _Oh Riley, I'm sorry, _he thought, looking sadly at his sleeping friend.

* * *

**Jaeh: Oh look, the plot is slowly revealing itself.**

**Lori: Sort of. Err… we're still planning it. Please review and stuff. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Jaeh – I am totally, extremely, seriously and indubitably sorry about the delay. I have no excuses beyond being busy, and… that's just totally lame. So yeah. Sorry, guys.**

**Lori- Yup. I would like to thank people for the kind reviews last chapter.**

**Warning: Some disturbing nightmare fuel in this chapter.**

**

* * *

**

Riley woke up to Ben staring at him from a chair across the room. Ben's expression was unreadable, and he leaned over the laptop and tapped the screen.

Riley stared dumbly at the screen for a moment, until his eyes focused on the e-mail flashed liberally in full view. He looked up in quiet astonishment at Ben, and found his voice. "What's this? You read my e-mail?"

Ben didn't answer. He just stared at Riley unflinchingly, and tapped the laptop again. "Riley, is there anything you want to talk about?" He stated gently.

Riley stared in disbelief at his laptop, and back at Ben. "You read my e-mail. Ben! Why did you read my email? This is a serious breach of privacy! I can't believe you did this!"

"Riley I was just – "

"I don't care if you're trying to help! I can handle this on my own, Ben!" Riley snapped. He closed the laptop, not as gently as he usually treated his technology, and stood up with a wince of pain.

Ben didn't' move from where he was, staring evenly at his friend. "Riley… talk to me. Please." Riley shook his head, his hands clenching to his face. He tried to take deep calming breaths, and he glanced around the room, looking anywhere other than Ben.

"Riley." Ben's voice was calm but insistent. Riley squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his palms to his forehead. "S-She… I met her at Mt. Rushmore. Jacqueline. I told you about her once. And… you know. We corresponded through email after that because she lives in South Dakota. But we actually met up once… and we were thinking that, you know we want to take the relationship to the next step. She was actually moving out East… she'd be an hour away, Ben. And she wanted to think about it, and I said okay… and she emailed me back…" Riley swallowed and lowered his gaze. "What can I tell her?" He suddenly whirled toward Ben, the anger and sadness worn plainly on his face. "_What can I tell her_?"

"Look at this, Ben. Look at it." Riley gestured at his arms, swathed in bandages. He gestured to his legs where the ugly welts and wounds hidden by his pants, ran down his legs. "I can't… I can't _face_ her, Ben, looking like this. I don't even know how I can face _anyone else_. If you think you can do something about all this –" he pointed to himself "– about everything else, about _me_, then by all means, miracles are definitely welcome!" He dropped back on to the couch, and buried his head into his hands.

"She can't love me – hell, she can't even _like_ me now, Ben. Look at me." Riley sighed heavily. "I look like a freak. I _am_ a freak."

Ben sat beside him, trying to put an arm around Riley. "Riley, you're not a freak. Don't ever think –"

"Yes I am. I'm a freak." Riley turned away, blinking back his tears. "I know what it looks like. I've seen myself in the mirror and I _know_ how bad it is," he murmured quietly. He stared at the glass of water by his side. His face was mirrored on it, and Riley saw the small scratches on his face and thin bandage on his neck. He looked away. "I don't know how I'll ever show my face to her."

Ben sighed sadly. "Riley, this was a horrible thing to have happened, but there's no reason why she wouldn't like you. You're a wonderful, caring, loyal person with so much to offer. Your scars will heal."

Riley just shook his head. "No one would ever want a damaged man, Ben."

* * *

For the next week Riley tried act normal. It was obvious he was anything but to his friends, to an outsider however, he would seem okay. Ben hated seeing the forced smiles on Riley's face when he would talk to people. He tried to keep up the brave facade but Ben could tell it was really wearing on him. He could see how thin Riley was getting; he could see the dark bags under his eyes. He didn't talk much Ben or Abigail at all and Ben couldn't help but be concerned. Every time he tried to ask Riley how he was, he just retreated further into a protective shell.

Ben tried to get a clue into Riley's thoughts but then one night he got one. A big, ugly one.

* * *

Riley sighed and stared at the ceiling. He was so tired. Sleepless nights left him drained of any energy. He hated being in bed because then he could feel every cut on his body with more intensity. And inevitably Devin would plague his mind, and the pain and humiliation he suffered by his hands. Sometimes his mind would dwell on one of the tortures, but other times it would flick through every one so fast he wanted to scream.

_I'm so tired_, he thought, staring at the ceiling. _It's not fair. I wish I had some sleeping pills. Maybe that would help. You know what would also help? Going to see a therapist. _

Riley groaned and rolled over to his side. He just wanted to sleep. He closed his eyes, hoping sleep would take him soon…

A rustling in his room made his eyes snap open. He heard it again and Riley gasped and sat straight up in his bed. Riley squinted toward the corner of the room and saw a dark shape moving. His heart began to thud in his chest.

"_Riley…_"

Riley recognized the voice. He would remember it until he died. And he couldn't make a sound. He wanted to scream, but he sat frozen, staring in the dark corner.

"_Riileeey…. You can't escape me… I'm not done with you yet…_"

Someone…_something _stepped from the shadows of the corner of his room. It was a corpse, it's body only charred remains…mutilated. Chunks of flesh fell as it dragged himself closer. It was Devin. Or what was left of him.

Riley was rooted to the spot in horror, trembling in fear as the thing shambled toward him. _MOVE! _his brain screamed. _DO SOMETHING! _Riley somehow managed to get his paralyzed body to roll out of the bed, as he tried to put as much distance between him and Devin as possible.

"_Where are you goooinnng Rillleey? We have so much to catch up on…" _The corpse moved toward him with unnatural jerky movements.

Riley was still stumbling backwards, barely noticing that his room had disappeared. It was suddenly replaced with a dark carnival tents, looming over him, twisted distortedly. Devin was still there. Riley couldn't get away from him no matter where he went. Now he was staggering, unable to get his body to move any faster. The evil laughter behind him turned his blood to ice.

Then, Riley lost his balance, and fell. He fell and fell until he landed in blackness. He didn't know where he was, and all he knew was that he couldn't get out.

"_We're not done playing Riiileeey…."_

Then they were all over him, crawling on him, his face his body, everywhere…. and raw terror was the only thing that existed. But he couldn't scream. His voice was caught in his throat.

Something cold slid across his chest and his neck. Then the hated voice whispered into his ear. "_I told you that you'd never escape me… you'll always be mine." _That's when Riley started screaming. He screamed until his throat felt like it would give out.

He screamed so loud he woke himself up.

* * *

Ben was pulled out of deep sleep by what he thought was someone shouting. He lay there for a moment, before he realized it _wasn't _just from his dream. The screaming was faint, muffled, but it was coming from Riley's room.

He bolted out of bed and ran down the hallway as fast as they could. The screams were so loud and desperate; a part of Ben was terrified there was someone attacking the younger man, although he knew it was impossible.

Ben burst into the room. He was horrified to see Riley thrashing in the bed, covers strewn about. His motions were panicked, as if he was trying to frenziedly eradicate something that was on him. The screaming was horrible to hear, and even as he ran forward Riley let out a loud gasp and sat up in bed. His wild eyes flicked to every corner of the room until they found Ben. Riley managed to whimper Ben's name before breaking down into sobs. Ben pulled his friend close, not knowing what else to do.

"It's okay Riley, you're safe now, it's okay!"

Riley attached to him like a magnet, terrified and shaking in horror as the dream rattled around in his brain.

_Damn you Devin… _Ben thought, hugging Riley close as he sobbed into Ben's shirt. _I hope you're rotting in hell for what you've done. _

"Shhh….it's okay, I've got you. You're safe…"

It took a while for Riley to calm down. Ben lost count to how long he sat there, his friend shaking in terror in his arms, but eventually Riley fell asleep. Ben looked up when Abigail walked in, her eyes wide in concern.

"Did he have a nightmare?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." Ben shook his head. "A really bad one."

Abigail took a seat next to Ben as they listened to Riley's breathing. "Help me get him back into bed," Ben whispered. Abigail straightened the covers and Ben placed his friend back on the pillow. Abigail smiled sadly and tucked the covers around Riley. She stood up and brushed back his hair from his sweaty forehead.

"Riley," she sighed. "Why won't you talk to us?"

* * *

In the morning, the three of them were in the kitchen. Riley tried to ignore Ben and Abigail's sidelong looks of concern as he stabbed into his scrambled egg. He wasn't hungry at all, but he was eating mostly for show. The last thing he needed was Abigail fussing over him because he wasn't eating anything. The whole situation was embarrassing for him.

"Riley, have you called a psychologist?"

Riley rolled his eyes and took a sip of orange juice. "Wow, way to be blunt about it Abigail."

Abigail scowled and crossed her arms, and Ben peered at them over his cup of coffee. "Don't kid yourself Riley. We all know need to go see one. After everything that happened."

Riley put down his fork and glared at Abigail. "Are you saying I can't handle things myself?"

"Yes! That is exactly what I'm saying Riley!" Abigail retorted throwing her hands up in the air.

"I don't need to go to one, I'm okay!"

"I'm _inclined _to disagree," Abigail snapped. "After last night, you're anything but _okay_! I don't understand why you're so resistant to this idea, a lot of people who don't even have traumatic events happen to them go to therapy."

Ben sighed and set his mug down on the table. He had been listening silently to the squabble and thought it best to say something now. "She's right Riley. You need some sort of outlet. It'd be crazy not to talk to someone about what happened."

Riley suddenly felt angry. He knew he shouldn't be, because he knew they were right. But the anger took hold of him, unwarranted. "What are you guys, my _parents_?" he shouted, springing to his feet. "You've been doing nothing but telling me what to do, and going through my stuff!"

"Riley-"

"And what do you know about?!" Riley felt his voice rising, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "You don't know what it's like to have constant reminders of what happened carved into your skin! Every time I close my eyes I see him! I always feel him, and I can't get away! Not even when I _sleep_!" Riley's voice had reached a fever pitch and he stopped short. Then he stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Ben and Abigail speechless.

* * *

A little later Ben knocked on Riley's door. There was a dull "come in". Ben entered the room and saw the kid was staring despondently at his laptop screen, but he wasn't even typing anything. Ben sat down on the edge of Riley's bed.

"I'm sorry it seemed like me and Abigail ganged up on you… but you really should go see a doctor."

Riley sighed, running a bandaged hand over his eyes. "I-I know. I'm sorry. I just… I don't want to think about any of this anymore."

"Riley, you have to deal with it."

Riley lowered his hands and stared at them, blinking.

"I know it's difficult, but it would be for the best," Ben said gently. Riley didn't say anything but nodded. Ben gently patted Riley on the back and stood up. "Okay… we'll be downstairs if you need anything."

Riley remained silent, his eyes fixated on his hands. Ben sighed sadly and left the room, the door shutting behind him.

* * *

_There was darkness… he couldn't move, couldn't do anything, as the pain stabbed into him, with no sign of stopping. The dark shape hovered above him cackling…. _

Riley jumped out of bed, his eyes wide. His breath came out ragged and broken, and his hands clasped relentlessly on the blanket. He struggled to keep his breath in control, and so he shut his eyes and breathed deeply.

Mistake. He didn't see the comforting darkness that came with closing his eyes; instead he saw the remnants of his dream with disturbing clarity.

It was no nightmare; he knew it was fragments of a memory.

Riley shook himself, and let out a breath he didn't realize he held. _It's over, Riley, it's over, _he told himself got out of bed and limped toward the bathroom. He turned the faucets and started a shower, making sure the water was hot. The power of the water stream was probably not good for his bandages and cuts but he didn't care. The water helped wash away the feelings he had in the dream, and he stood there for a long while, letting the hot water rain down on him.

A feeling of unease suddenly shivered through him. He suddenly did not want to be standing in the shower, vulnerable like this. He turned off the tap and stepped out, wincing as he hurriedly pulled his clothes on over his marred body.

Stepping out of the steamy bathroom, he glanced at the door, his eyes not focusing properly. Riley grabbed his glasses and turned to open the door. He thought he would do well with some food and a nice mug of hot chocolate to calm his frayed nerves, especially after that dream.

He cautiously bounded down the steps, fingers trying to nurse a headache, undoubtedly caused by his listless sleep. Riley expected the familiar sounds of Abigail in the kitchen, making her morning mug of coffee, but curiously heard nothing. He decided to investigate, and walked into the room. He found no one. An irrational stab of fear hit him, and he steeled himself. _They're probably just in another room. Calm down, Riley._ He rushed to the library to check if Ben was there.

Again, empty room. Not even a light was lit. Riley's heart thudded faster. Fear coursed through him and shook him like a doll. His mind formed numerous conclusions, all of them screaming Devin's name, and he thought he could imagine heavy footfalls following him through the house. He sped into the next room, and the next room, and the next room.

There was absolutely nobody in the house, except for Riley.

And now he was alone with his imagination. And that scared him.

The footsteps were getting louder and heavier, and Riley thought he could distinctly hear evil laughter echo in the hall. He feared the worse.

_Devin. Devin's back. Devin's _back!

Riley ran for his room as fast as he could, stumbling along the way. He slipped around the corner, and crashed straight into a pile of dirty clothes. He grabbed the baseball bat under the bed and his cell phone, and pressed one.

"Ben? Ben!"

* * *

The theme from _Star Wars _rang through the air, and Ben immediately grabbed his cell phone before any of his students could notice. Of course, being the attentive students they were, small giggles erupted through the class, and Ben gave them a sheepish smile. He didn't even have to check who the caller was. It was definitely Riley, for he was the one who personally made sure the Star Wars theme was his caller ring tone and set it to Ben's phone.

"Riley?"

Heavy, panicked breathing came through the other line, and a shaky voice spoke. "Ben? Ben where are you?"

"I'm at work Riley – are you okay?" He stepped back from the podium, and raised his hand to his class. "Give me a second, please read the stuff on… wherever…." He trailed off. Ben turned around, whispering urgently into his phone. "Riley? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Ben…. where are you? I'm alone… oh my god I'm alone… Ben he's gonna come for me I know he is please come home…"

The last thing that his students saw was his coat trailing behind him, and the door closed with a bang.

* * *

_Why did I even think that I could leave him alone?_ _He's not in the right state of mind right now! Especially after that nightmare… _

Thoughts ran through his mind, berating himself for his stupidity first and worrying about Riley next. He clipped the headset on to his ear, and jogged to his car. "Riley? You still there?"

"…I heard him, Ben. Devin's here, I know he's here in the house and I locked myself in my room and he's coming, Ben! He's coming please come home please…" Riley was still blabbering, almost to the point of incoherence. From what he was hearing, Ben knew that Riley was crying.

"Riley, calm down. Devin's dead – he fell into the fire, remember? You saw the body. He's dead. He's _never_ going to come back Riley… do you hear me?" Ben reassured Riley to the best of his ability. He floored the gas, running a light. Cars beeped for his attention, but Ben didn't seem to hear them. He slowed down a little, though, knowing that it wouldn't do well to be pulled over when he was trying to hurry.

"…you don't understand he always finds me, he always catches me and he's going to hurt me Ben. I'm scared; I don't want him to hurt me please…"

Ben took a left into the right street, and tires squealed as he slammed on the brakes. He jumped out of the car, and was surprised to see Abigail hurrying up the driveway at the same time.

"Where were you? Riley's scared to death!"

"I ran out to refill his prescription… I left a note, I didn't realize…."

They both hurried into the house and bolted up the stairs until they were in front of his room. Ben jiggled the knob and knocked, banging his palm against the door. "Riley… Riley! Open the door!"

Ben couldn't wait any longer. He shouldered the door open.

He saw Riley curled up in one corner, his eyes wide with terror. Riley waved a baseball bat, and he raised it high above his head. "You can't hurt me anymore, I won't let you hurt me!" Riley cried.

Abigail hurried forward and fell to her knees in front of Riley, gently pushing his weapon to the side. "It's me, Riley. Calm down. It's me, I'm here. You're safe now… You're safe." The young man broke down once again, and cried into Abigail's shoulder. Ben knelt next to the two of them and put a hand on his shaking back. "It's going to be okay, Riley. We're here… You're safe…"

"He was coming… I knew he was, and- and-"

Ben patted Riley's back, whose cries gradually quieted to sobs. "You're not going to be alone, Riley. I promise. Not ever."

* * *

**Jaeh- Oh Riley. :(**

**Lori- I know. Poor thing. Once again sorry it took so long. This chapter was just kind of a setup for the rest of the story. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Lori: Next chapter! Thanks for the great reviews :D**

**Jaeh: Yep, what she said! Thanks for reading, guys!  
**

* * *

Riley sat in the passenger's side of the car in silence as Ben drove down the highway. The treasure hunter glanced at his friend repeatedly out of the corner of his eyes. Riley seemed very agitated, shifting in his seat or tugging at his long sleeves.

"Are they bothering you?" Ben asked quietly. Riley's wounds were healing slowly but surely, and Riley could be in varying amounts of pain. He was very protective of those injuries, not letting anyone see any of them. He always wore long shirt and pants even in the humid summer weather.

Riley made a non-committal sound and stopped fidgeting. "No," he muttered with a scowl.

"Are you worried about seeing the therapist?"

"No," Riley repeated shortly. After a few moments silence, he glanced side long at his older friend. "Maybe. A lot, okay?"

"It's okay to feel nervous about this, Riley. But you really need to see someone, especially after…" Ben trailed off. After Riley's panic attack when he and Abigail were gone from the house. That episode had honestly terrified Ben, and he didn't want to think what could have happened if they didn't show up when they did. He was scared Riley would do something rash to himself if he didn't get help.

He heard Riley sigh and shift in the seat again, staring out the window. "I know, I know." The guilt was heavy in his voice. After they found him in his room, and Riley managed to calm down enough to be understood, he apologized repeatedly through his tears to them. Ben could tell Riley was going through with this for him and Abigail, not for himself. And he didn't like that.

"I just," Riley sighed heavily again, and rubbed a hand over his face. "I-I don't know if I can talk about it. And I don't know if it'll help me anyway."

Ben paused for a moment. "You know, Riley, I was in therapy."

Riley looked at him in surprise. "You…you were?"

Ben nodded, his eye fixated on the road. "In high school, when my parents were officially divorced. They were separated for a while. I was picked on a lot by the other kids in my school. Studying history and treasure hunting helped me escape from reality for a while. But I was very depressed a lot of the time. It didn't go unnoticed by my dad who thought seeing a counselor might help."

Riley looked thoughtfully at him. "Did it?"

Ben nodded. "It gave me someone to talk to about my problems for that period when I felt like I had no one to talk to. And it helped me sort out some stuff. I can't say it helps everyone, but it's worth a shot, you know?"

"Yeah," Riley said quietly. "You know, Ben, I always had it in my head that you were the popular guy in high school, always had it together."

Ben chuckled and shook his head. "Are you kidding? I was the weird kid in the corner reading a giant textbook about history."

"Wow, it sounds like we actually had things in common back then. Not to brag, but I was the president of the chess club. "

"Well, I _was _on a basketball team too…"

"That's where the similarities end I guess," Riley sighed.

**

* * *

**

Ben walked into the building, Riley limping behind him. The kid had his hands stuffed into his pockets, tensed up, not looking at anyone. It was as if he was afraid people would magically know what he was hiding under his clothes.

"Okay," Ben read off from a sign. "We're on the 6th floor. Come on, kid."

He walked over to the elevator and hit the button and it opened. Ben got in and realized Riley was still standing outside. "Riley, come on." Riley was staring into the elevator, his face turning two shades paler. Ben frowned and quickly stopped the elevator door from closing. "Riley?" Riley continued to stare into the elevator, his breathing uneven.

"Riley!"

Riley blinked and looked around at Ben, swallowing hard. "I can't get in there Ben."

"Riley, I know you're nervous about seeing someone but-"

"No, it's not that…" A shudder ran through his frame and he lowered his eyes. Ben understood and stepped out of the elevator. He put a hand on Riley's shoulder but the kid flinched away. Ben sighed and dropped his hand.

"Do you want to take the stairs?" he asked softly. Riley nodded, looking utterly ashamed of himself.

"It's okay. Let's go."

* * *

"Hello, you must be Riley Poole and Ben Gates?" A woman with short brown and in her mid forties greeted the two men. Ben nodded, glancing at Riley. "He's the one who's here to see you." Riley nodded slightly at her.

"Hello, Mr. Poole, I'm Renee," she greeted mildly.

"What, no Dr. Steiner?"

"Nah. You should be comfortable around me. 'Dr. Steiner' is too formal for my tastes."

"Fine, I'll call you that, if you promise just to call me Riley."

"It's a deal. Shall we head to my office then?"

Riley looked worriedly at Ben who flashed him an encouraging smile. Riley took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay… let's do this."

Riley found himself sitting in a chair in her office. He glanced around at the various pictures hanging around, trying to avoid her gaze.

"Comfortable, Riley?"

Riley snorted and turned back toward her. "I don't see how this will be _remotely _comfortable for me."

"We'll only talk about things you're comfortable with talking about," Renee encouraged him. "And… when you're ready… we can talk about what happened to you." That was a reassuring thought for Riley. He frowned at his hands, trying to ignore the therapist's steady gaze. "Am I going to have to go to a psyche ward?"

"Most likely not." She tilted her head curiously. "What makes you say that?"

Riley still didn't look at her. He felt very small. "Maybe it's a good thing I'm here. I think I might be going crazy."

"Why do you think you're going crazy?"

Riley sat up again and rubbed his arm nervously, shifting uncomfortably as he felt the bandages wrapped around stinging cuts. When he spoke his voice was hushed. "It's what made me decide to get help. I know I needed help but I didn't want it. But I heard _him_. I knew he couldn't be alive, he was dead, but… it was so real… I was scared."

"_He _being Devin?"

"Y-Yeah… I hate it. I see him all the time… and I thought I would I at least be safer during the day."

"Flashbacks and nightmares are a natural reaction to a traumatic event. You are not going crazy, your mind is just trying to process what happened."

Riley looked relived, and let out a deep breath. _Well, that's good to know I guess._ Suddenly, he shot a glance at Renee. "How much do you know? About… you know… what happened to me."

"Not much Riley. The FBI won't let anyone close to this one, they're doing a good job at keeping the media away. But I looked up some of Devin's past case files. I know what he did then… and I know what he is capable of. I was called to work with you because I work specifically with people who are survivors of torture."

After that the session was relatively uneventful, Riley talking about his life with Ben and Abigail and helping Ben with his various crazy treasure exploits. Renee was open and understanding, listening without bias and it put Riley more at ease with her. But he didn't feel like he could tell her any of the events that transpired at that dark carnival. It was too painful to even _think _about, and he wanted nothing more than to just bury the memories deep into the recesses of his brain.

**

* * *

**

Riley had stopped fidgeting.

Ben could see it as he surreptitiously glanced at the side view mirror, stealing glances at Riley's still form. The younger man was staring out the window, watching cars fly by.

"Riley?"

Riley didn't answer. Ben didn't expect him to answer, anyway. "How was it?" Ben asked.

Riley mumbled something in reply, and the treasure hunter raised an eyebrow. "Riley?"

Riley shrugged. "We talked, and that's about it."

There was silence in the car again. Rain started pouring, and for a while, there was nothing to listen to but the rain drops that tapped on the roof of the car. Ben cleared his throat a couple of times, but Riley didn't react to anything. Even when Ben surreptitiously made the car tires squeal with every brake, there was nothing.

It was moments like this when Ben was really, _really_ worried about Riley. He would've preferred indignation, anger, annoyance, but silence was the most unnerving.

But that wasn't the thing that pressed most on Ben's mind. He still couldn't get over how much their lives had changed in a week. And Riley. He was so worried about Riley – of course he would be. After all that had happened, he would be entirely insane if he didn't.

Riley was resilient. He'd been through so much, and Ben was certain that the younger man had learned to cope.

_But this. This is different. This is _very_ different._

No one should be kidnapped and tortured by a psychopath.

* * *

Abigail watched Ben's car roll to a stop in front of the house. She turned from the window as she heard the front door open, and met Riley at the stairs. The young man headed straight to his room, not even acknowledging Abigail as he ran past her.

Ben entered the house, shaking water from his umbrella. Abigail gave him a kiss. "How was it?" She asked. She and Ben had been talking about the therapy, and Abigail had been waiting anxiously as she did her work.

"I don't know. He didn't tell me anything about it. I didn't want to push." Ben said. He hung his coat, and headed to the kitchen.

Abigail handed him a cup of coffee, and Ben sat down. "It's probably for the best."

"I'm worried about him."

"I am, too." Abigail smiled sadly. She grabbed herself a cup of coffee, too, and stirred in some sugar and cream.

For a moment they sat in comfortable silence. Abigail placed a hand on Ben's, and they stayed like that for a while.

"Do you remember that girl from the celebration at Cibola, the one Riley had been talking about?" Ben suddenly asked, staring at his cup of coffee.

Abigail wrinkled her forehead. "I think so, yes. Jaqui, Riley had said, if I remember correctly." Abigail smiled to herself. "He couldn't stop talking about her."

Ben nodded. "Yes, her."

"Why do you ask?" Abigail sipped from her mug. "What is it?" Her voice took on a tone of concern and worry.

"She and Riley had been talking for a while now. She wants to see him. Riley… he…" Ben sighed loudly, and trailed off.

With that, Abigail knew. Ben didn't need to explain to her. She understood perfectly what it was.

She had seen Riley's wounds, crisscrossed over his back, chest, his arms, his legs. She had climbed into the ambulance herself, and held Riley's hand. She had watched the paramedics press layers of absorbent bandages against the numerous cuts to soak up the bleeding. She had watched him scream in agony as the doctors treated him.

Abigail knew how Riley hurt. Physically.

She knew that emotionally, psychologically, it would be just as bad. Maybe even worse.

"Oh Riley." Abigail managed softly.

Ben closed his eyes. "Abigail, I don't know what to say to him. He thinks that he's a freak, that those scars…" Ben trailed off again, as if he couldn't continue. "He doesn't deserve this."

Ben drank the rest of his coffee in one gulp, and poured himself another mug.

"They've been talking for months, ready to take it to the next step, Riley said." Ben said. "He's afraid of what she'll think. What he looks like."

Abigail placed a hand on Ben's shoulder, and Ben pulled her into a hug. "We'll get him through this. By God, we'll get him through this, Ben."

* * *

Riley locked the door, and sat on his bed. He dropped back, and stared at the ceiling.

The dream he had kept on coming back every time he closed his eyes, and he could hear Devin cackle in his ears. Riley grabbed his earphones and stuck them in his ear, and played songs at full blast.

He closed his eyes, and tried to push Devin from his mind. He suddenly felt really tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep.

His bed started buzzing.

Riley groped for his cell phone. The beginning notes of a song started to play, and all that Riley could do was to let it ring and ring.

He couldn't get himself to answer the call. It was Jacqueline, undoubtedly calling to check on him. She had been dropping him voice messages and text messages, and he hadn't answered even one yet.

He didn't know what to say to her. _Hi, Jacqui, yeah…. Sorry I have been ignoring you. It's just that I don't feel like talking to you right now, or seeing you for that matter. Yeah. I'll call you in a decade or so._ Riley rolled his eyes. He knew he couldn't do that, not to her.

The phone stopped ringing, and Riley could only stare. That was the third call that Jacqueline left him. He dropped the cell phone, and rubbed his eyes.

He had no idea what to do next.

* * *

**Lori: Please review, tell us what you think! I have a few announcements as well. First, if you have a deviantart account I need more people to join the NT fan club I am co-founder of. We are about to start an art contest and it would be great if we had more input. Remove the spaces and go here http: / / ntfans. deviantart. com**

**Also I'm looking for people to draw a fanart, either for the stories from this account or my other stories on my LoremIpsum account. If you draw something, I'll write a NT related one-shot for of anything of your choosing (except slash or like, graphic sexual content which isn't really my cup of tea).**

**Jaeh: As for me, I also have an announcement: and it will be in the next chapter. :p Send stuff to Lori now!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Lori- We would like to thank Cocoa for the AWESOME STORY she wrote for us. Seriously, go read it. It's the only story in our favorites page. **

**Jaeh-YES! Special thanks to Cocoa for her story. We loved it, and we're sure you guys would enjoy it, too!**

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* * *

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_I feel like shit. Complete and utter shit._ Riley was never one for cursing. But he couldn't think of anything else to describe how he felt. Especially not this early in the morning.

It was three AM. Two hours ago, he tried going to sleep. But every time he closed his eyes, he could see a glint of light from a knife twinkling against Devin's dark eyes.

For hours, all he tried was to go to sleep. Nothing was working, so he went down to the kitchen, opening each and every light along the way, and got himself a mug of warm milk. For a while, it helped him relax, and even helped him doze off lightly. Until the edges of his memories started spilling into his dreams.

He stood, stretched a little, and went out to the front lawn. He turned on the lights to the porch, and Riley sat on the grass. The fresh air did him wonders.

It made him feel less claustrophobic. There were times when he felt like his room was a coffin, and that scared him even further. He glanced at the stars above, and his mind wandered.

Five days had passed since Riley started seeing Renee. His life had settled into a comfortable little routine. Wake up (if he even went to sleep that night), take a shower, brush his teeth, go to therapy, go home and play some mindless videogames or read some book. Or lock himself in his room and stare at the wall.

Riley wished he'd finally crash into sleep. He examined his face in the mirror one morning, while he was shaving. His eyes were sunken, and bags were dark and visible. Ben and Abigail noticed, Riley knew, but they didn't say anything.

He lifted a small prayer of thanks that he had such understanding friends.

For hours Riley sat there, staring at the stars. At some point he lay down, and nestled his head onto his arms. He felt dew soaking his jacket, but he didn't care. He was comfortable.

Until his memories crashed into him again. It was a beautiful night, like this, when Devin had taken him from his apartment and did things to him.

Played games with him. Tortured him. He saw stars out the tent sparkling, one of the small things Riley wished to see before he died. The stars had comforted him with their hypnotic twinkling, and they had eased some of his pain.

Riley shook his head, and rubbed his arms. He winced – he kept forgetting that he had these cuts on his arms, caused by what happened… he let himself go like he just touched something hot.

He slipped back into the house, even if he felt it was stuffy. As horrible as it might sound, at some point in the coffin, he felt grateful that he was in it. That it was almost over, and he did welcome the darkness that he knew would come. But most of all, he was grateful that he was away from that… that _demon_, who kept on hurting him.

Riley wasn't sorry that the man died. A part of him went wild with glee and jubilation when he saw the man fall to his doom. Devin hurt him. That man hurt him, and now haunted him every dream, every waking moment. Oh, yes. He wasn't sorry he was dead. If Riley was sorry Devin was dead, it would be because he didn't suffer enough.

He sighed, and leaned back on the couch. He heard a creak, and some descending footsteps. Riley jumped, his fingers closing around the remote control beside him ready to hurl the object, and turned.

"Riley?" Ben yawned a little, and headed for the couch. "I keep finding you here."

"Why are you awake, Ben?" Riley asked.

Ben shrugged. "Force of habit."

It was truer than it should be. Ben had caught Riley awake once, and stayed with him that night until he fell asleep, even just for a few hours. The next day, Ben caught him again. And again. And again. One time it was Abigail who caught Riley. She made him drink something for sleep.

He didn't really want to drink anything again today, no matter how good it sounded.

Riley gave a non-committal noise. Ben stood up, disappeared into the kitchen, and brought back a warm glass of milk. "Here. It would help."

Riley shook his head. "Thanks, but no thanks, Ben. I already tried it earlier. Didn't work."

Ben cocked his head in quiet acquiescence, and lifted the mug to his lips. "I hope you at least got some sleep."

"Are you kidding? I'm up at three in the morning. I did nothing but _try_ to sleep." Riley said. He twirled the remote in his palm. "It didn't work, of course. Nothing ever does, these days."

Ben opened his mouth, beginning to form the words 'I'm sorry', but shut it, apparently changing his mind. Just as well. Riley had heard the words 'I'm sorry' so many times now, from those people at the FBI to Emily, Patrick… even Ben and Abby. He was so sick of it. Ben opened his mouth again. "Well then. Would you like some company?" Ben raised his feet on the coffee table, and leaned back in his arm chair.

Riley nodded wordlessly. Of course he'd love the company. He had been miserable most of the night – or rather, early morning, and Ben (or Abigail) soothed him.

Memories inched into his mind, and he remembered fire spreading under him. The gondola above him swung back and forth, and for a moment, Riley was scared that it would unscrew from the hinges and fall. He held his breath as he watched Devin and Ben struggle.

Then he saw Devin fall with his mouth opened in a silent scream. He imagined the fires leap forward to catch that _devil_, and welcome him into the bowels of hell.

Riley shuddered. His imagination and anger went wild on him again that moment. He turned to look at Ben, who watched him with curiosity.

His mind's eye showed him Ben and Devin's struggle again, and each time Ben stepped down from the gondola, his eyes tired but fiery with anger and determination.

Riley realized that he hadn't thanked Ben for what he had done that night. Ben's eyes were starting to droop when Riley spoke. "Ben."

"Mmm?" Ben opened his eyes a little. "What is it, Riley?"

For a moment, Riley debated if he should even say something. It might open up wounds that he wasn't too keen on opening, and he didn't want to cry. He wasn't even sure if there were any tears left for him to spill.

But… "Thank you."

Ben straightened, his eyes suddenly alert. "I'm sorry, Riley." The older man winced, aware that Riley wasn't too fond of pardons right now. Riley smiled a little. "Were you saying something? I wasn't listening."

Riley shook his head, still smiling. "I remember the Ferris wheel, Ben. I remember what you did. And… and I thank you."

Ben's lips quivered into a smile, but disappeared just as quickly as it formed. "I'm not sorry he fell." He stared intently into his cup, and looked up at Riley. "I'm not sorry I killed him."

Riley nodded, and closed his eyes. The same scene flashed through his eyes again, and he vaguely remembered seeing a glimpse of Devin hanging on the gondola before he fell. "Why?"

"Why what?"

Riley opened his eyes, and looked squarely at Ben. "Why did you kill him?"

Ben cocked his head to one side, smiled slightly, and shook his head. "Riley, after what he did to you…" he started gently. His expression then became serious, and his voice hard. He curled his fingers, and his knuckles whitened. "What he did to you, what he did to those other people… He was a monster, Riley, plain and simple. And letting him fall was the best decision I made." He glanced at Riley. "And I will _never_ regret it."

"Thank you." Riley whispered. "Thank you for saving my life, Ben."

Ben smiled. "You're my best friend, Riley. I'd do anything for you."

The fire flickered, and Ben and Riley sat in comfortable silence. Riley sank gratefully in the couch. He relaxed slowly, his memories blurring as his mind was put at ease by his friend's comforting presence. He closed his eyes, and slept.

* * *

Ben watched Riley sleep for a moment, and stood up. He thought he needed some air, and he started for the door.

He envisioned watching Devin fall. He had relived it in his mind over and over again, and came to one conclusion.

He would _really_ do it again. And again. And again. Anything to save the people he loved.

He emerged in the front lawn, where the first rays of the sun shot through the clouds.

He thought about Riley, who slept in the living room, comforted by the knowledge that Ben was just there, standing guard over the nightmares. Ben grimaced, feeling a little guilty that he left his friend.

But he needed to clear his mind. Worry flooded him. Riley needed rest. He deserved rest. Ben was grateful that his best friend finally succumbed to sleep. Riley was so tired. Ben could see it in Riley's eyes.

And Ben couldn't do anything _direct_ about it, and that frustrated Ben.

He huffed to himself, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Something vibrated, and Ben fished out his phone.

What met him was an assault that he wouldn't wish on anyone's ears.

"BEN? Where the hell is Riley?"

For a moment, Ben stared at his phone in disbelief. He tried to place the familiar voice, and then he remembered.

"Jacqui? How did you get my nu-"

"Is he okay? He's not answering my emails, my messages, my calls… what the hell's going on?" Jacqui continued after a beat. Ben pulled the phone from his ear.

"Wait, calm-"

"I'm worried SHITLESS, so now you give this damned phone to that man and tell him that he's going to answer me this time or God help me I'll - "

"Jacqueline." His voice was quiet, but stern. Ben knew it wouldn't have helped if he yelled.

Ben could almost hear the girl blush through the phone. "I'm sorry. It's just, Ben, I don't understand. Did I do anything wrong? Why isn't he talking to me?"

Ben winced. He didn't really know what to tell Jacqui. He knew why, of course – but Ben couldn't bring himself to actually tell Jacqui. It wasn't his to tell. "How did you get my number?" He couldn't stall forever. He had to figure something out.

"Does it really matter?" The voice on the other end sounded frazzled, and Ben frowned in sympathy. "Look, Ben, I just want to know what's going on. I'm _really_ worried about Riley. It's not like him to just... disappear on me. Can I please talk to him?" The voice took on a more pleading tone. "Please, Ben."

Ben winced. "He's…" He briefly debated with himself if he should tell her, but his mouth just run off on his own. "…trying to work through something. He'll call you when he's ready."

Ben wasn't sure what to do with what happened next. He heard a huge thud and a cracking, crunching sound, and then the line went dead. He blinked at the phone, and frowned guiltily. He didn't want to do that to Jacqui, but he had no choice. _It isn't mine to tell_, he repeated to himself.

The problem was telling Riley what had just happened. He didn't want to put even more stress on his friend, but he knew Riley would be angry… more than angry, furious, if he didn't tell him that Jacqui was desperately trying to get in touch with him. Then again, Riley was purposely not talking to her, which meant he couldn't face her yet.

Ben wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

He glanced at the sky again. Clouds mottled the sunlight, and covered the rays, which struggled to break through. Ben sighed, and went back in the house.

Ben knew Riley expected him to be there when he awoke.

* * *

_Darkness… he couldn't move, something was cutting into his skin… he felt hands cold hands rub over him and he couldn't even scream… couldn't even…_

"NO!" Riley sat bolt upright on the couch, shaking hard, panting as if he just ran a marathon. He heard Ben yelp, and a thud followed. "Riley?"

Riley didn't answer. He closed his eyes, holding back the tears, trying to calm down. He felt so shaken; he pulled his knees to his chest protectively and choked back a sob.

"Riley, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, look at me."

Riley raised his eyes to look at Ben. "I-I'm s-sorry for w-waking you u-up, man."

Ben smiled sadly, and cautiously moved beside Riley. "Is it okay if I sit down?"

Riley nodded, not trusting himself to say anything. Ben sank down on the couch next to Riley. He hesitantly put an arm around his shaking shoulders. Riley didn't seem to mind. In fact, he relaxed a little and glanced around the living room. "It's morning…" he sounded relieved. "I slept through the rest of the night."

"Riley, do you want to talk about…" Ben began. Riley sighed, and shook his head. He knew Ben had his best intentions in mind, but he wasn't sure if he could handle telling Ben and Abigail.

"Ben, I… I think I'll save that for the therapist." Riley said quietly.

* * *

Riley had been going to see Renee for a week. So far, he hadn't talked about anything of what Devin did to him. He avoided it when he could, changing the conversation to other subjects (and he had _a lot _of interesting things to talk about). And Renee never pressured him after he made it clear he didn't want talk about those events. They talked about other things, how it felt like to be a treasure hunter, the fame that came with it, Ben and Abigail, a pet dog he had when he was younger. They talked about everything besides what they were _supposed _to talk about.

Riley was telling Renee about the research project him Ben and Abigail were working on. And it just kind of came out. "We had a lead… on page 47. It would have gone further… but that that was the night when…" Riley swallowed. He looked up at Renee. Her expression showed no eagerness or impatience. She simply looked at him, waiting for him to speak.

"H-He… broke into my apartment." Riley balled his fists. "I can't even go back to my own home! It's not fair, dammit. It's my house, and he defiled it and…" He let out a small sigh, and shuddered. "I'm scared to go back…" he whispered.

"There's nothing wrong with that Riley. Have you considering getting another house?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah. But Ben and Abigail don't want me to be alone yet." He gestured, and leaned back in his chair. He stared at sky outside, refusing to meet Renee's eyes. "I don't want to be alone, anyway. It scares me. That night, he just _broke _in and took me. I didn't even see it coming. I thought it was just one of those burglaries I keep on hearing about around the neighborhood." He shivered again. "H-he got me all alone and did things to me… and… I d-don't like thinking about them. I haven't even told Ben or Abby yet…"

"You're scared of how they'll react?"

Riley nodded slightly. "I know them. They would have felt like they should have done something more. Like… they could have helped more. There was nothing they can do - he hid me and I can't even…" Riley fell quiet, trying to calm himself. "They were right there. Maybe that makes it worse. I don't want them to feel like they didn't do enough. It's not their fault, you know?"

"It's not your fault either Riley," Renee said quietly. Riley blinked down at his hands. "You seem like you feel _guilty _about this. You want to protect them from the ugly truth, but you're just hurting yourself more. And right now, you need their help more than they need yours."

Riley clasped his hands together. "I d-don't think I'll be able to…"

Renee leaned back in her chair slightly, picking up a pencil. "Okay… then you can start by telling me. This is a safe place Riley. Once you tell someone, it will get easier."

Riley closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he nodded. "Okay."

"You don't have to start at the beginning if you don't want. Whatever is easiest."

The dream Riley had floated through his consciousness and he shivered. "W-What I hated the most is not that he was hurting me. It was how he did it. How he humiliated me and treated me like I was some kind of _toy_!" Riley spat out the last word, feeling angry tears in his eyes. "He called me that… h-he called me toy and pet… m-made me play his insane games… and I couldn't do _anything! _He did things to me if I didn't cooperate - he wouldn't even just let it end…_" _

The tears spilled free from his eyes. He didn't even know that the body could produce that many tears - he had been crying too much the past days, and he thought he had already ran out of tears. "He terrified me. He acted like he owned me and he kept touching me, like I was…" Riley shut his eyes, and hugged himself. Tears blurred his vision, and he felt his cheeks wet and dripping.

Renee passed him a tissue box. Riley muttered his thanks and wiped his face. He looked down at his trembling fingers. "And…" Riley swallowed. "I stopped fighting him. I gave up. Towards the end. I was terrified - I knew I was going to die and I hated that I didn't even try to stop it. I just wanted it to end."

There was a few minutes of silence in the small office. Riley kept his head down, not wanting to look at Renee.

Renee spoke gently. "Riley, don't be ashamed. You did what you had to do to survive. That's the most important thing. You're alive."

Riley let out a hiccupping sob. "I-It's all over my body, Renee. He cut me everywhere… left his mark and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Jacqui wants to talk to me but I _can't. _I just… I can't let her see me like this."

"Jacqui is the woman you've been talking to?"

Riley nodded and crumpled up the tissue, his hand clenching in to a fist. "It hurts. It hurts that I can't talk to her."

"What makes you think that you _can't _talk to her?"

Riley shook his head helplessly. "What would she _think _of me? She wouldn't… want anything to do with me. I mean… what happened to me…" He trailed off, not even wanting to finish. _It left a mark. I'm scarred. I don't want her to see._

"Riley, I think you're not giving her enough credit. Give her a chance, talk to her. Shutting her out completely isn't going to help anything."

Riley sighed and leaned back in the chair. He knew Renee was right, but he didn't want to face Jacqui.

"Okay. I'll think about it."

Renee glanced at the clock on the wall and smiled at Riley. "We've made a lot of progress today Riley. This was a huge step for you."

"Oh, really? Thanks… I guess," Riley mumbled. He didn't feel like he made progress on anything. He felt more like he was about to be dragged under any second.

* * *

Abigail heard Riley come home. He never talked to anyone. He just went on straight to his room. She sighed and put down the document she was reading.

It had been a while since they last had a good talk. She missed him.

She made her way to Riley's bedroom and peeked inside. He was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He raised his head slightly when he heard her.

"Hey, Ri," she smiled, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Hey, Abs," Riley said softly.

"I was thinking we could go somewhere today. We could go to the Air and Space Museum."

The last time they went to the Smithsonian, Ben and Riley had actually _fought_ over which museum they would spend the day in. Ben wanted to go to the American History Museum, but Riley insisted on the Air and Space Museum. Abigail stood back a little as Ben and Riley fought like kids back then, she feeling a little embarrassed. They ended up with compromise of half-a-day for each.

Ben had a lot of stories to tell about each part of the museum he chose, of course. But what Abigail remembered the best was how excited Riley looked as he pointed to all the different planes and shuttles in the Air and Space Museum. His expression was just filled with child-like wonder that Abigail had not seen in a while.

"It's a nice day out… and you know, it'll help get your mind off… things."

"I don't really feel like going out," Riley said in a barely audible voice. His eyes were wet and he blinked a few times.

"Riley-"

"Please. I'm sorry… I-I don't want to go anywhere…"

Abigail bit her lip, and blinked to stop the tears that threatened from falling. She hated seeing Riley like this. "Okay. Riley," she whispered. She stood to go but was stopped by a weak grip on her hand.

"Don't go yet. I just… I don't want to be alone right now."

Abigail sat back down, studying her friend's tired blue eyes. "Do you want to talk about something?"

Riley pressed his lips together and nodded. He sat up and leaned against the wall. Abigail noticed suddenly that he was wearing short sleeves. She could see the bandages wrapped around his arms, covering the ugly welts and scars. He hadn't worn short sleeves in a long time.

"Is it better to push someone away and spare them the pain?" He rubbed his arms absently, frowning a little.

"This is about Jacqui, huh?" Abigail asked quietly.

"She's been trying to contact me. I don't what to say to her. I mean what _can _I say. 'Yeah, Jacqui sorry I didn't call you for a while but some sadistic psychopath decided to use me as his own source of personal entertainment'."

"Do you love her?"

Riley looked up at Abigail, startled. "Huh?"

"Do you love her."

Riley closed his eyes again. "I… do. I love her. I haven't told her yet. Think how well that's gonna go over now."

Abigail narrowed her eyes and pointed a finger at him. "And I know she loves you. She cares enough to try to contact you weeks after you stopped contacting her. You owe it to her to at least talk to her after dropping off the face of the planet."

"I… suppose I should do something about it." Riley murmured, rubbing his eyes. "I hate this."

Abigail smiled empathetically. "I know, Riley. But you'll know what to do. Trust me."

* * *

Ben jerked awake, raising his head from the pile of papers in front of him. He needed to catch up on his research. He had been spending a lot of time taking care of Riley lately that he had been neglecting his work. Riley was more important than the pieces of paper he pushed around. Ben knew he would get answers to what he was looking for eventually, anyway. Page 47 would be there waiting for him, no matter how long he took to take care of Riley. It had been there for years, and it wouldn't disappear anytime soon.

_Must have dozed off… _He of them were getting that much sleep nowadays. He rubbed his eyes and heard knocking coming from the front door.

Ben blinked in disbelief. "Who the heck…" He heaved himself out of the chair and went over to the door. The knock came again, more urgently.

"All right, all right," Ben muttered, and unlocked it.

And there on his doorstep was a redhead, freckled, and extremely pissed off looking Jacqui.

"Hi, Ben. Is Riley here?"

* * *

**Lori- O_o Well, please review and tell us what you think. **

**Jaeh – YES, REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Oh, and for that teeny tiny announcement I was talking about, guys…**

**I plan on doing a separate story based on prompts that you, yes, YOU, guys would provide. Just PM me the prompt, on whose POV it should be, and I'd do a drabble on it. It could be ANYONE, yes, anyone, even Riley's car. Seriously, go nuts. You could even give me an exact number of words, if you want (no more than 200, not less than 50), and I'll do it! I'll even credit you! If you can't pm me with it, drop a line as a review (on *my* stories or *my* account, not on this account, please ;)**

**I prefer PMs, though. Exceptions and further rules would be on my profile, but I'm posting it here anyway: if you give me a prompt, you can't tell me what it should be about. I'll be the one to figure it out. And you cannot give me a deadline. Real life doesn't agree with deadlines. Heh. That's all. Send away. And, again review please! Tell us, indeed, what you think!**


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